Novelty Toast Bistro (Single)

by Kilroy and the Dangerbots

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released June 20, 2019


all rights reserved



Kilroy and the Dangerbots Boston, Massachusetts

I'm amateur musician Kilroy. I use a proprietary blend of vintage samples, catchy beats, and clever wordplay to create my sonic offerings.

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Track Name: Novelty Toast Bistro
verse one
hey now there's some place i gotta go
(you gotta go?)
i said there's some place i gotta go
(you gotta go?)
oh ya there's some place i gotta go
(i think i know)
i gotta go to the novelty toast bistro
(you gotta go to the novelty toast bistro)

donuts are old school, fro-yo's in the past
we all knew that cupcake craze would never last
if you want a taste treat or a flavor blast
you get that slightly burned and buttered bread brother and fast
with cinnamon and sugar, with salt and butter
topped with sweet cream straight from the udder
here's my frequent toaster card, better punch it brother
cause tastin that toast is just like taking a lover
try the saffron-infused honey butter on rye
their south of the border toast (ha!) will make you cry
if you want toast date then I'm your guy
we’ll be on a week long toasty buttered bread high, cause

coffee clowns brag about their roastin
microbrewers are drinkin and boastin
but they aren’t the ones that are bringin most in
we’re all at the bistro takin the toast in

verse two
hey man I'm taking out my lady tonight
(out tonight?)
you know i gotta take her somewhere real nice
(ok that's tight)
that’s why I'm taking out my lady tonight
(out tonight)
to the novelty toast bistro, that's right
(to the novelty toast bistro, that's right)

i got a hot date so i put on somethin pretty
take the red line and meet the missus in the city
we're walking and talking and singing a ditty
cause the thought of what's comin’s straight up making us giddy
we're strolling straight past the bakery, past the sweet shop
don't care about that dairy with its milky slop
i'm askin pretty pretty please with powdered sugar on the top
for that toast that i take to like a donut to a cop
a couple of hours and even more crumbs after
the roasty toasty air is soakin up our laughter
our fingers touch reaching for the the butter knife
and then we know we’ll be toastin together for life, cause

verse three

you know I've been up and down this coast
(this whole coast?)
oh yes I've been up and down this coast
(oh, the coast)
and there is one place i love the most
(you love the most)
it’s that cooky bistro with the novelty toast

yeah they got blood orange compote atop pumpernickel
truffle toast with sun-dried figs and a pickle
double decker french with ganache in the middle
sprinkled with sugar and a coca-mocha drizzle
pretzel toast, toffee toast, waffle toast, falafel toast
smothered toast, dry toast, rye toast, chai toast
sesame spiced, and on a bed of rice toast
naughty or nice toast, a deal at any price toast
baptize me in butter, and sprinkle my grave
with the crumbs of every piece of toast that gave
it's warm and soft crunch to my mouth and my brain
i’d give up the ghost for that toast, praise grain

© 2019 J. Clark Gardner
Track Name: You Know Me
verse one
I look up like an elephant tamer
I know each exit, got four disclaimers
I’ll give you more outs than is done in the majors
want Donuts? I'll take four glazers
Straight no chaser, i’m still in danger
Wrote her that note but I didn’t date her
Sculpted a mermaid but then mislaid her
Don’t go wade, you’ll get ate by a gator

chorus one
You know me…
always in it for the fun, not the money, not the sugar, not the honey but the sun
You know me…
we got the steaks, the puddings, the housewares, burgers and bakes
Get your cart and start loadin’ it down
The wheels all squeal when you push it round
Price check rice Chex on the radio
Kilroy on the intercom lettin ya know
When the blue light flashes it’s all go

verse two
I'm like what's it? The whole enchilada
Keep swinging sucker I'm a flippin piñata
takin a beating while I'm sweatin nada
Crack my back open, you can take the lot, I'm
A vegan piranha, studyin pharma
Spitting out karma as far as a llama
You got a lotta coupons you'll save even more
But keep that receipt, Imma check it at the door

chorus two
You know me…
I got the hi score
Ya jump a couple barrels and I'm jumpin even more
You know me…
I got in all in stock
The giblets, riblets, ham and hocks
Pack your basket and go to town
The fruit’s all fresh and the coffee’s ground
Price check rice Chex on the radio
Kilroy on the intercom lettin ya know
When the blue light flashes it’s all go

verse three
Always on like the carnival lights
Like a plastic knight, like a fish in flight,
Like a backlot cleanser locked in tight
Scannin for signs at the end of the night
Flashing my light as I search aisle two
My well trained eye sees somethin new
I scratch and I sniff and uncover the clue
It was Kilroy….
in the parlor..
with the crew

chorus three
You know me…
I'm the salt on the rim
You ask for the manager they say it's him
You know me…
I ship it all for free
Quality’s my priority
Pull your list out and get your wares
A pair of eclairs and some Anjou pears
Price check rice Chex on the radio
Kilroy on the intercom lettin ya know
When the blue light flashes it’s all go

© 2019 J. Clark Gardner

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