Billy Better Sparkle

by Kilroy and the Dangerbots

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released July 6, 2019


all rights reserved



Kilroy and the Dangerbots Boston, Massachusetts

I'm amateur musician Kilroy. I use a proprietary blend of vintage samples, catchy beats, and clever wordplay to create my sonic offerings.

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Track Name: Hey (Hey) Oh (Oh)
verse one
get live, get loose, i’m gonna cook your goose
with lyrical lightning from the likes of zeus
electric juice for every use
i wear chartreuse, what’s your excuse?
let me introduce you to my set up
all the proper tools in my get up
samsonite rocks that rhythm
he can fold right up and take em with him
cab's on the hook, I'm on the rhyme
ground to a powder until it's fine
mix it in the cuisinart and hit FRAPPE
and the luscious liquid falls in your lap

ya taste my tinctures, sweet as peaches
sucking out sadness like they’re leeches
can you hear me in the bleachers
gettin straight-a’s from all my teachers

chorus one
hey (hey)
oh (oh)
gettin’ all sloppy with the sound you know, come on
yes (yes)
yall (yall)
i'll carpet your cranium from wall to wall

hey (hey)
oh (oh)
Bend that stick and to make it glow, it’s like
yes (yes)
yall (yall)
Listen to the buzz of the bass in the hall

verse two
i'm rosebud and you’re chuck foster
i'm the missing link - just check my posture
weavin the waves from the first primate
throughout the ages to the modern ingrate
i got quite a few tricks in my satchel
to fan the flames and grease the axles
of all the party people that here to dance
and if your friends don't dance then your friends are pants
so here's your chance to adjust your stance
and fix your glance on the lasting
pleasure and purpose that comes from blasting
all my beats, rhymes, and rantings

you got a sweet tooth? i’ll bake a cake
your booty sittin still? i’ll make it shake
your thorax is stiff? i'll shake it awake
we’re gonna jump on the floor til we make it quake

chorus two
hey (hey)
oh (oh)
you come for the drinks and stay for the show, come on
yes (yes)
yall (yall)
i'll carpet your cranium from wall to wall, it’s like

hey (hey)
oh (oh)
bend that stick and to make it glow, come on
yes (yes)
yall (yall)
lIsten to the buzz of the bass in the hall
Track Name: Just Add Kilroy
verse one
you’re mixin up a cocktail, shaking, adding
it tastes okay but there's somethin lacking
just add kilroy to that mixture
and clock ten points on your flavor richter
call me element 153
the final touch to a recipe
the additive to raise your mpg
and tame your tum when you're out at sea
you got a flat soufflé? give me a call
i’ll add a pinch of kilroy - that sucka won't fall
and if all your party people are stuck to the wall
ask me to dance and i’ll cure em all

verse two
i’m the special sauce, the secret weapon
the crowning dance move in all that steppin
the final twist in your salted pretzel
wheel number five in your ford edsel
x, y, z I'm the w axis
you're guaranteed death, kilroy, and taxes
adding me prints out color faxes
and brings out longer, fuller lashes
i'm like turtle number 5 - they call me van gogh
we fight that foot around the clock
i make pizza with mike and soothe raph's whinin
when I join a squad, the synergy's flyin

chorus one
you got weak tea? (just add kilroy)
you got a sick tree? (just add kilroy)
some kinda bum knee? (just add kilroy)
just add kilroy? (just add kilroy)
your taxes not done? (just add kilroy)
your party no fun? (just add kilroy)
your blender won't run? (lust add kilroy)
just add kilroy? (just add kilroy)

kilroy contains traces of mercury, lead, and starch.
excessive use of Kilroy may cause discoloration.
if government officials inquire about your use of kilroy,
simply excuse yourself and call kilroy’s customer service hotline right away.

verse three
just add kilroy to soften hands
a drop in your coffee soothes your glands
spray it on your skin for an even tan
just watch those brownies slide off the pan
add me to your mutual fund? get rich
plug me in your mix? perfect pitch
i enhance every team and raise every sitch
whether of this earth or not, check this
the horsemen of the apocalypse needed a fifth
for their b-ball squad, and i got picked
check the team, we’re quite unruly
it’s war, conquest, famine, death, and yours truly

chorus three
when your beat’s too clunky (just add kilroy)
does your beer tastes skunky? (just add Kilroy)
if your breath smells funky... (just add kilroy)
or your soup’s too chunky (just add kilroy)
how much kilroy? (all the kilroy)
all the kilroy? (siempre kilroy)
mucho kilroy? (todo kilroy)
​just add kilroy? (just add kilroy)
Track Name: What is This About?
verse one
clip clip clop, no time to stop, i'm
atop a box writing on a street sign
sketching cowls on the silent vowels
and shooing owls off my feral feline
she makes a beeline for the treeline
i trot to follow but fall behind,
round a corner, duck under a pine,
trip on a thing and land on my spine
above me a lady in a loose-leaf gown
puts her hand in mine and lifts me from the ground
i size her up, she stares me down
i ask her name, she makes no sound
she slowly smiles, adjusts her crown,
pulls me close and puts her arms around me
i find her eyes and ask “What is this about?”
And she says

chorus one
i’m sneakin, i’m snackin
i’m freakin, i’m frakkin
if you’re the one that talks then i’m the one that’s
backin you up
or bringin you down
cause your nothin but a candy-ass coward and a clown

verse two
after a moment or perhaps a fortnight
with resolve she dissolves the porch lights,
takes my hand and leads me through the leaves
on a reedy pathway wracked with weeds
to a pit that’s filled with what seems
to be derelict vintage arcade machines
one lights up, another shoots sparks
a third spits fire like a welding arc
the flashing light disrupts the dark
and I see now that I'm in a cricket park
a wicked barking laugh alarms us
up on the cliff side, not to far there’s
a pack of secret service dropouts
shining light where the hole was dug out
they call to me and ask “what is this about?”
and i say

chorus two
i’m sneakin, i’m snackin
I’m freakin, i’m frakkin
If you’re the one that talks then i’m the one that’s
backin you up
or taking you down
cause your nothin but a candy-ass coward and a clown
Track Name: We Are Now Relevant
verse one
mmm, ah, ok, begin
you folks on the sidelines, scooch in
grab a candy cigarette or pour some gin
i’ma put on that record and make it spin
kilroy here, aka beardy
the campus weirdy, comin in clearly
here to merely sing sincerely
and raise a ruckus among us, ya hear me?
it's been a while, but i ain’t got rust
i’m off the shelf, i’ve shaken the dust
hold up my sign “rhyme time or bust”
and keep the flow goin’ - that’s a must
make your sammies, cut off the crust
put on your jammies, address your lust
dance so fast that your hair gets mussed
and hold onto your glass if your table gets bussed

verse two
that's right, i'm on the mic
check check check, sounds all right
bottle service? i think i might
pomegranate, with diet sprite
turn it up kid, tu-turn it up kid
watch my superego dance the pants off your id
you got your nails done, now get your hair did
swish it to the groove and flip that lid
i see it, i get it, you’re in it, you’re on it
you got a lot a horsepower under the bonnet
we got somethin nice I here, think i'm gonna call it
i think i'd be a pretty fly wallace to your gromit
i fly like a comet but a little bit slower
i soar like eagle but a little bit lower
i think this party is just about over
​but show me your hands if you want a little more
Track Name: Don't Knock it
verse one
left, right, slightly off center
it’s out with the old and in with the better
there’s youth in my eyes and age in my cheddar
down with havarti but ain’t touchin feta
so cancel that grudge, lose your vendetta
buy a jar of sense and whip out your spreader
change your last channel, keep it on the local
turn your ears out and dampen that vocal
a top-shelf yokel with a straight up spine
faulty posture cheap taste in wine
a real good find if you like my kind
the whole fruit blends - pulp seed and rind

ra dada dum dum
ra dada dum dum
no one is askin you to buy it

ra dada dum dum
ra dada dum dum
don't knock-knock-knock it, knock it til ya try it

verse two
comin’ at ya quick like a kitten clowder
i am the cream in your clam chowder
conifg your router, it's gettin louder
then off to the store for more baking powder
always on the phone and it might even bug ya
buy me a glug and i'll probably hug ya
i pour more tea in LK's mug
another dance dance level and i cut me a rug, but
what about smitty, he left the city,
so i roll out a riff that's a little bit gritty
i don't need your dogma, don't need your pity,
just a jane adaptation, a blanket and my kitty

verse three
that’s a bit silly, ok, i admit it
i am a bit of a flibbertigibbet
i exhibit a flippity fidgety state
like I'm at the wrong seat but i got a full plate
like i got the right key, but i got the wrong gate
it’s like somethin i was born with or somethin i ate
but it's somethin i still will exhibit with taste
some hear it in the beat some hear in the bass
fed thru a fuse to your shoes to your waist
it sends a spark up thru your spine to your face
don't sit don't stand don’t blink don't wait
​just run to it, run cause it's shakin up the-place
Track Name: Novelty Toast Bistro (Rear View Makeover Mix)
verse one
hey now there's some place i gotta go
(you gotta go?)
i said there's some place i gotta go
(you gotta go?)
oh ya there's some place i gotta go
(i think i know)
i gotta go to the novelty toast bistro
(you gotta go to the novelty toast bistro)

donuts are old school, fro-yo's in the past
we all knew that cupcake craze would never last
if you want a taste treat or a flavor blast
you get that slightly burned and buttered bread brother and fast
with cinnamon and sugar, with salt and butter
topped with sweet cream straight from the udder
here's my frequent toaster card, better punch it brother
cause tastin that toast is just like taking a lover
try the saffron-infused honey butter on rye
their south of the border toast (ha!) will make you cry
if you want toast date then I'm your guy
we’ll be on a week long toasty buttered bread high, cause

coffee clowns brag about their roastin
microbrewers are drinkin and boastin
but they aren’t the ones that are bringin most in
we’re all at the bistro takin the toast in

verse two
hey man I'm taking out my lady tonight
(out tonight?)
you know i gotta take her somewhere real nice
(ok that's tight)
that’s why I'm taking out my lady tonight
(out tonight)
to the novelty toast bistro, that's right
(to the novelty toast bistro, that's right)

i got a hot date so i put on somethin pretty
take the red line and meet the missus in the city
we're walking and talking and singing a ditty
cause the thought of what's comin’s straight up making us giddy
we're strolling straight past the bakery, past the sweet shop
don't care about that dairy with its milky slop
i'm askin pretty pretty please with powdered sugar on the top
for that toast that i take to like a donut to a cop
a couple of hours and even more crumbs after
the roasty toasty air is soakin up our laughter
our fingers touch reaching for the the butter knife
and then we know we’ll be toastin together for life, cause

verse three
you know I've been up and down this coast
(this whole coast?)
oh yes I've been up and down this coast
(oh, the coast)
and there is one place i love the most
(you love the most)
it’s that cooky bistro with the novelty toast

yeah they got blood orange compote atop pumpernickel
truffle toast with sun-dried figs and a pickle
double decker french with ganache in the middle
sprinkled with sugar and a coca-mocha drizzle
pretzel toast, toffee toast, waffle toast, falafel toast
smothered toast, dry toast, rye toast, chai toast
sesame spiced, and on a bed of rice toast
naughty or nice toast, a deal at any price toast
baptize me in butter, and sprinkle my grave
with the crumbs of every piece of toast that gave
it's warm and soft crunch to my mouth and my brain
i’d give up the ghost for that toast, praise grain

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