verse one
you’re mixin up a cocktail, shaking, adding
it tastes okay but there's somethin lacking
just add kilroy to that mixture
and clock ten points on your flavor richter
call me element 153
the final touch to a recipe
the additive to raise your mpg
and tame your tum when you're out at sea
you got a flat soufflé? give me a call
i’ll add a pinch of kilroy - that sucka won't fall
and if all your party people are stuck to the wall
ask me to dance and i’ll cure em all
​
verse two
i’m the special sauce, the secret weapon
the crowning dance move in all that steppin
the final twist in your salted pretzel
wheel number five in your ford edsel
x, y, z I'm the w axis
you're guaranteed death, kilroy, and taxes
adding me prints out color faxes
and brings out longer, fuller lashes
i'm like turtle number 5 - they call me van gogh
we fight that foot around the clock
i make pizza with mike and soothe raph's whinin
when I join a squad, the synergy's flyin

chorus one
you got weak tea? (just add kilroy)
you got a sick tree? (just add kilroy)
some kinda bum knee? (just add kilroy)
just add kilroy? (just add kilroy)
your taxes not done? (just add kilroy)
your party no fun? (just add kilroy)
your blender won't run? (lust add kilroy)
just add kilroy? (just add kilroy)

bridge
kilroy contains traces of mercury, lead, and starch.
excessive use of Kilroy may cause discoloration.
if government officials inquire about your use of kilroy,
simply excuse yourself and call kilroy’s customer service hotline right away.

verse three
just add kilroy to soften hands
a drop in your coffee soothes your glands
spray it on your skin for an even tan
just watch those brownies slide off the pan
add me to your mutual fund? get rich
plug me in your mix? perfect pitch
i enhance every team and raise every sitch
whether of this earth or not, check this
the horsemen of the apocalypse needed a fifth
for their b-ball squad, and i got picked
check the team, we’re quite unruly
it’s war, conquest, famine, death, and yours truly

chorus three
when your beat’s too clunky (just add kilroy)
does your beer tastes skunky? (just add Kilroy)
if your breath smells funky... (just add kilroy)
or your soup’s too chunky (just add kilroy)
how much kilroy? (all the kilroy)
all the kilroy? (siempre kilroy)
mucho kilroy? (todo kilroy)
​just add kilroy? (just add kilroy)